Lee Craig Lambrecht

You could shave off all their butts and eat them and not be full

April 29th, 2017 – 23:48 (via 15072760693)

I'm harder than I've been in years.

March 25th, 2017 – 21:02 (via 15072760464)

I know retards that are smarter than both of you!

January 24th, 2016 – 00:08 (via 16125975596)

Bible camp pussy is the tightest pussy.

September 14th, 2014 – 17:52 (via 16125975596)

Oh shit, did I precum in your bed?

August 10th, 2014 – 12:41 (via 16125975596)

If I get hard enough I will rape you

August 9th, 2014 – 02:02 (via 15072760693)

I'll stuff it in my ass 'til midnight.

August 8th, 2014 – 23:26 (via 16125975596)

And Brock.

August 4th, 2014 – 17:05 (via 15072760464)

I wanna have sex with both of you guys.

August 4th, 2014 – 17:04 (via 15072760464)

And emotionally I wanna have sex with Dave, he's not that attractive.

August 4th, 2014 – 17:03 (via 15072760464)

Lexicon

July 19th, 2014 – 02:54 (via 15072768510)

If we made Ihatenomuscles.....

July 18th, 2014 – 23:35 (via 15072768510)

You've all been victims of my sexuality.

July 18th, 2014 – 22:14 (via 15072768510)

I'm gonna be nice and full tonight. No more food for me!

July 7th, 2014 – 20:26 (via 15072760464)

Not white

June 16th, 2014 – 21:23 (via 15072768510)

I'd rather suck a dick than chow box. I really would.

March 25th, 2014 – 23:02 (via 15072768510)

She's also gross and ugly.

March 25th, 2014 – 21:15 (via 15072768510)

You're that sexy pain that I keep coming back to.

March 21st, 2014 – 22:16 (via 15072762941)

... An eighth grade girl who has booty for days..

March 21st, 2014 – 21:51 (via 15072760693)

Sucked on her titties a lot. It's kind of my thing.

February 2nd, 2014 – 15:07 (via 16125975596)

I'm never going to lose my virginity to a non-hooker.

January 30th, 2014 – 21:33 (via 15072768510)

I didn't hump off last night. Did I hump this morning? Yeah.

January 28th, 2014 – 13:52 (via 16125975596)

I don't touch guys that are unattractive.

January 26th, 2014 – 15:42 (via 15072768510)

Solid man handshake.

January 24th, 2014 – 22:55 (via 15072768510)

Skinny or fat is what we're playing with.

January 24th, 2014 – 21:21 (via 15072760464)

So are you just a weekend pot smoker then?

January 15th, 2014 – 09:53 (via 15077660715)

Totally. Jules you are so fuckin cool and me and baby are so fuckin drunk.

January 15th, 2014 – 00:32 (via 15072762941)

If photos could be submitted, turtle is killing it with these Asian chicks.

January 15th, 2014 – 00:00 (via 15072760693)

If I don't get something to eat soon I'm going to get a little peckish.

January 8th, 2014 – 14:04 (via 15072768510)

My thighs aren't strong, they're just there.

January 7th, 2014 – 22:47 (via 15072760693)

You've seen one of my cocks. The other one is usually in my butt.

January 7th, 2014 – 22:46 (via 15072760693)

That's my biggest lasting concern now, is my weenie.

January 7th, 2014 – 22:46 (via 15072760693)

They should still let white people make decisions

January 6th, 2014 – 13:57 (via 15072768510)

Weirdest place you've ever masturbated. Mankato state library...

January 6th, 2014 – 13:49 (via 15072762941)

Murder sex is like Buddy's strawberry

January 6th, 2014 – 13:49 (via 15072762941)

I wouldn't molest your children.

November 4th, 2013 – 23:38

My skin is so gross it feels like I have sunburn.

September 22nd, 2013 – 13:50 (via 15072762941)

I know exactly where we are.

September 17th, 2013 – 22:31 (via 15072760693)

It was breakfast time and I was jazzed.

August 27th, 2013 – 20:50 (via 15072760693)

I think having an STD would suit me.

August 21st, 2013 – 23:00 (via 15072760693)

Knowing what I know about men, if I was a woman, I'd be having sex with a lot of people.

July 28th, 2013 – 12:06 (via 15072760464)

Turtleneck Sweaterdick

July 24th, 2013 – 21:23 (via 15072760693)

You don't get it, my boner isn't like your boner..

July 8th, 2013 – 22:47 (via 15077660715)

I'd rather eat a salad with cum on it than just dry.

July 6th, 2013 – 19:58 (via 15072760464)

When you have to poop it's hard to fart a bunch.

July 6th, 2013 – 19:37 (via 15072760464)

I'm the right amount of hard right now.

July 5th, 2013 – 01:16 (via 15072768510)

Have you ever eaten just a hamburger? No cheese, no nothing? It feels like you're in prison.

June 30th, 2013 – 22:39 (via 15072760693)

She just came into my head and I was like oh, I can masturbate to that.

June 22nd, 2013 – 14:44 (via 15072762941)

I was thinking about my boner today...

June 21st, 2013 – 20:42 (via 15072760464)

I've never been naked with adults before.

June 21st, 2013 – 18:59 (via 15072762941)

Who's the tard talking to the website? Boot their ass

June 15th, 2013 – 13:45 (via 15072768510)

Aren't we all just some guy trying to get with some girl.

June 15th, 2013 – 13:27 (via 15072760464)

I'm kind of a whore, I guess.

June 15th, 2013 – 13:26 (via 15072760464)

I'd live on top of my own dick for 100 bucks a month

April 29th, 2013 – 22:46 (via 15072768510)

I feel like I could give a blow job better than most women could.

March 2nd, 2013 – 14:14 (via 15072768510)

When the question arose "How do you make an apple bong?" Tutty paused FIFA and turned to say "That's like when Shakespeare walks into the room and you as

January 28th, 2013 – 23:09 (via 15072768510)

k him if he knows anything about poetry."

January 28th, 2013 – 23:09 (via 15072768510)

"You remind me of a very specific type of ninja"

January 15th, 2013 – 12:15 (via 15072768510)

I know where to put my penis, but it just wouldn't fit... Square peg round hole, man.

January 1st, 2013 – 21:22 (via 16125975596)

I follow the Curt Model

December 20th, 2012 – 23:26 (via 15072768510)

I like Connie best when he's a little naked.

December 5th, 2012 – 22:22 (via 15072768510)

After a brief conversation pertaining to marijuana, Turtle was in desperate need for a reaffirmation to which his roommate responds: "It's ok Tuttie, you're still the pot king."

December 1st, 2012 – 19:49 (via 15072760464)

Can you guys quit ruining this for me? I just want to be a hero and that's it.

December 1st, 2012 – 12:17 (via 16125975596)

I may have gained 40 pounds this year but at least my cock is still sweet.

November 25th, 2012 – 23:16 (via 15072768510)

Go sixty

November 25th, 2012 – 23:10 (via 15072768510)

The proof is in the pudding boys! (Holds up a bag...) Puke clothes!

November 25th, 2012 – 19:37 (via 15072768510)

Boogers are icky... semen is awesome!

November 4th, 2012 – 16:55 (via 15072768510)

*as he crawls into Dave's bed... "I'm about to have a wife, this may be your last chance to fuck me!"

November 4th, 2012 – 16:55 (via 15072768510)

Yep. She doesnt know that i am going to have sex with her yet, but i dont foresee any complications

October 15th, 2012 – 17:38 (via 15072762941)

Blair Walsh is from Badassville

October 14th, 2012 – 22:41 (via 15072768510)

Dude, she really fucking cool... I'd fuck her!

October 14th, 2012 – 00:09 (via 15072768510)

Guys, can't we just kiss a little?

October 9th, 2012 – 22:30 (via 15072768453)

You can smoke 90% paper and still have a sweet time, Jules.

October 8th, 2012 – 21:06 (via 15072762941)

I find that handicapped people like me the most.

October 8th, 2012 – 19:59 (via 15072768510)

I wanna have your body, I wanna know your moves.

October 6th, 2012 – 23:08 (via 15072762941)

I weighed 128 lbs. when I graduated high school.

September 29th, 2012 – 19:33 (via 15072760464)

Curt is upstairs decorating and donna is downstairs shirtless putting up dry wall.

September 28th, 2012 – 01:43 (via 15072171230)

After a 20 minute match in tennis, "It feels like pitbulls are biting my shins!"

September 27th, 2012 – 20:28 (via 15072760464)

I have a lot of ball cheese... sometimes

September 25th, 2012 – 23:31 (via 15072768510)

I've never launched in my life.

September 25th, 2012 – 21:48 (via 15072768510)

Yeah, we made out.

September 23rd, 2012 – 13:19 (via 15072760464)

Yea, I could probably beat any WNBA player 1 on 1... 7 years ago.

September 23rd, 2012 – 01:46 (via 15072171230)

Heyyyyy, you boys like to parrrrty?!?!

September 23rd, 2012 – 01:39 (via 15072768510)

Can I piss in your mouth?

September 23rd, 2012 – 01:38 (via 15072768510)

I would lather your body in syrup and lick every square inch.

September 23rd, 2012 – 01:34 (via 15072768510)

Why u gotta be dumb like a dumb

September 23rd, 2012 – 01:34 (via 15072171230)

Yeah, we made out.

September 23rd, 2012 – 01:32 (via 15072760464)

Apparently I'm meeting my future wife tonight

September 22nd, 2012 – 20:31 (via 15072762941)

I get a boner just listening to you talk.

September 22nd, 2012 – 15:31 (via 16125975596)

While baking a cake for a girl who is uninterested in him- "Guys stop, this is important to me. I LOVE HERRR!"

September 22nd, 2012 – 14:57 (via 15072768453)

Quote from Craig Sr: "Craigers, you're the glue that holds your friends together."

September 22nd, 2012 – 12:19 (via 15072760464)

You guys are the best of both worlds. Eric's the cutest little sweetest thing and Kyle's my big lumberjack.

September 22nd, 2012 – 11:43 (via 15072768453)

With his hands placed on my shoulders so gently he leans over and says, "Go sixty!"

September 22nd, 2012 – 11:22 (via 15072768510)

I could get off right now...

September 22nd, 2012 – 11:17 (via 15072768510)

I have female friends, lots of um.

September 22nd, 2012 – 11:14 (via 15072760464)

Pound my butt

September 22nd, 2012 – 11:14 (via 15072768510)

I hate sunlight!

September 8th, 2012 – 16:09 (via 16125975596)